This is more of a thought provoking blog than anything else really. So take it for what it is worth and let it be that. What IS a friend exactly? I've kind of been reflecting and asking myself that lately. We all have people we love to be around, have fun with, tell secrets to, etc. You know, I am talking about people other than your spouse. I have a few people I am friends with but when I am around them I end up grumpy because they are grumpy, or swear because they swear and it rubs off, or gossip because they gossip. It has been said those who gossip with you are the ones who gossip about you. So why am I still "friends" with these certain people?
What makes someone a friend and not just an acquaintance? What makes you want to call someone and invite them to do something with you or with a group of people? Or what makes you NOT call someone to do something with them? Like especially if you call them a "friend". Facebook and blogging and things of that a nature are like a double edged sword. It is fun to keep in touch with people and see what they are doing, but what about when they post/blog things like the awesome play date, or girls night, or lunch date, etc, they had and you wonder why you weren't invited? Especially when the group they hung out with are people you are all "friends" with. It makes you wonder.
Jeff and I had this conversation the other night. That is why this is all being brought up. We were talking about who are "friends" are. I don't have family close by so I depend on my friends for things like shopping and movies and stuff like that. Jeff's family is about 30-45 min away but we aren't exactly the best of friends and I don't think I have ever been invited to do anything with his mom or sister or sister in law except for family events (which is fine, I'm not complaining, that is just the way it is). In fact, most nights, including the weekends you can find Jeff and I at home, by ourselves (well with our kids). We have a few other couples we hang out with on RARE occasions, and none of them are from Syracuse. Interesting, huh? Jeff is pretty much 100% a homebody. It doesn't bother him at all. And really it didn't bother me until recently, when I started reading about all these things my "friends" are doing with our other "friends", but I'm not invited to. Haha, now this looks like I am begging for friends that want to do things with me. Nope, not really. It's ok. I've invited a few friends to do stuff recently and it's been fun. I think I would rather build long lasting relationships with them and know I can count on them and they can count on me and know it will be a good time and we will laugh and have a ton of fun rather than get drug down and be unhappy. But why call someone a "friend" if you aren't going to include them?
PS. If you live more than like 30 minutes away you are not included in this rant (AKA Annie!).
6 comments:
For Dave, his friends are his family. Seriously, everytime we hang out with a big group of Dave's high school buddies (you guys included!), he talks for like a week after about how awesome it was and how much he loves his friends. We need to have you guys over for dinner or something. Promise we won't be "talk behind your back" kind of friends ;)
(this is Lynne Kimball, btw)
Carrie I'm glad we're friends, so don't worry about other people anymore and I won't either!! :) ha ha. I totally know what you mean, and that is why it is going to sound like I have copied you when I post the blog I already wrote about this same thing... (like i said... CREEPY... no actually COOL we are on the same wavelength I guess!) anyway i'm with ya sistah.
Dear Carrie. I heart you. :) I mean....we bought the same car. We were MEANT TO BE! haha
So stinkin' true! :)
oh man carrie, jared and i talk about the same thing often. I wish I had answers for you, I really am not sure what makes someone a friend when you are older with kids, it seems like were always homebodies anymore anyways but i miss the social life we used to have. good luck with it all!
Carrie! I'm so glad we're BFFs. If we lived closer we would totally hang out more. As for friends...I guess I'm just one of those lucky people who lives in the same town and their family. That's who Brandon and I hang out with, we have a few friends from our ward that we hang out with, but mostly its just us.
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