Boobs...yupp, you read it right

DISCLAIMER: This post will NOT contain any pictures :)
Hooters, knockers, jugs, boulders, boobies, breasts, etc, etc. You get the picture right? Well, I hate them. I think boobs are so weird. And what I think is even weirder than boobs...BREAST FEEDING!!! Ok, so apparently you are supposed to LOVE breast feeding and think it is the best thing in the entire world and grow this amazing bond with your child...nope, not me. I think breast feeding is SO weird. Like seriously, if you actually think about what you are doing and that there is MILK in there. I mean come on, seriously?! Honestly, the only real reason I do it is because it is FREE. How can you pass that up? (Unless your girls don't work and there isn't anything to provide for free.) Do you want to know more reasons I don't like breast feeding? Bras...holy cow...apparently I am super picky AND have huge boobs because I can't find a good breast feeding bra ANYWHERE! Well that's a lie...I found ONE, but it has been discontinued so I lucked out that they had it in my size...you can't even order it online. While shopping for these stupid bras I even went to that specialty store in Bountiful (and had to stop at Target on the way home to PUMP in the parking lot because my trip had taken so long and Jeff was home with the kids and I had left him milk to feed her but that meant my boobs were jam packed FULL of milk). Yupp...so I can't find bras. Oh ya, some people recommended nursing tank tops...I thought hey, that could be a good idea, so I bought one. Well, I promised no pictures, and I am going to stick to that...BUT I did take a pretty funny one the other day. The nursing tank top fit..everywhere but my giant boobs. They were so heavy they were weighing down the shirt and half of my boob was hanging out...pretty sure that isn't how they are supposed to work. You know what else? My boobs leak ALL the time. It is SO awkward and inconvenient. I SOAK through nursing pads. Lame. (I was able to make a pretty funny joke about it though. I text my mom at the butt crack of dawn the other morning while I was nursing and this is what it said: I think I have a plumbing problem...because both my faucets are leaking lol lol lol) The only thing I have found that works is the disposable ones. So I won't be spending all my money on formula, instead I'll be spending it on disposable nursing pads lol. Oh as for the bonding thing? Nope, definitely not. I look down at her tiny little face and think wow, my boob is like 10x the size of your head...and then I realize she is sucking away at my BOOB...and it is weird. I also don't like that I am the only one that can feed her. Sometimes I wish Jeff could help at night when she thinks the world is ending because she nursed an hour ago and is all of a sudden STARVING again. Yupp...she nurses like every hour to hour and a half at night before bedtime...but I really shouldn't complain about that either because she sleeps relatively well at night. I called the Dr. the other day to see if I could stop waking her up and night and he said yes. Thank goodness. I was sick of it. It was a huge ordeal to get her to eat. She wanted to sleep...not like sleepy baby sleep but like hello mom is it the middle of the night why are you stuffing your giant boob in my face kinda sleep. I agreed. Things are tons better now that we both can sleep until SHE decides she is hungry. It isn't as hard to get up either when I know the feeding will be mostly successful. Ok, now that I have complained lots about it, I will say I am truly grateful that I can nurse little A. It is SO good for her, especially because she was early and is little. I don't think formula is bad...that is pretty much all Riley got, so don't feel bad if you are reading this and can't breast feed. I am also grateful because it is free and I'm not working, and I didn't budget like $200 a month for formula...so it's a good thing it is working, or we'd be boob poor. Anyway, my plan at the moment is to nurse her until she is 6 months old...older than that seems even weirder to me. DEFINITELY I will stop when she can walk (if it is before a year). Now my next goal is to get the feeding to take less time...like 30 min TOTAL including a diaper change. That would be nice.